I have been struggling for some months now trying to be the best that I can be in multiple roles. Like many who are also working from home, the boundaries between my personal and professional lives are almost non-existent during this pandemic. In my pursuit of trying to do it all as a wife, mother, homemaker, daughter, sister, friend, and worker, I robbed myself of the dependency, joy and peace in being the Father’s daughter.
I have spoken to many people lately and it seems we are all struggling with who we are, what we do, and what we are going through, whether we are in the church, or outside of the church. What about you? If you are struggling in the same way, I want you to know that I am with you.
After struggling silently for quite a while, God lovingly sent 2 prophets to speak life into me exactly where I needed it. As the words of knowledge was poured into my spirit, those words from the Lord brought healing to my listless spirit, and gradually liberated me from the immense pressure that God never meant for me to carry. Even as I write this devotional, the Holy Spirit continues to heal me.
Whatever struggles that you are facing today, I want you to know that God knows everything that you are going through. He knows even the little details that you didn’t even think would be of any importance to the Lord. I pray that the Lord will and can heal you in the way you need it to, but before that, you have to repent, and strip yourself of your self-reliance and self-dependency. The reason you and I are struggling is because we have been striving by our own efforts. We thought that the more we do, the better it will get. Instead, it just seems like an insurmountable mountain to climb. The expectations we impose upon ourselves and the people around us are so high that they are unattainable. We substitute what God deems as valuable in His eyes to what we deem as priority in our limited understanding. We blame others for our struggles and disappointments when the real problem was our lack of dependency on Jesus.
Think about the last time you made a genuine effort to read the Bible, pray, or seek the Lord. I used to argue that my responsibilities in life keep me so busy that I do not have time for any of these. While it may be true to some extent, I discovered that the reason behind my struggles was not due to the amount of work or responsibilities I face, but simply because I was trying to succeed by my own efforts. When I learn to look to Jesus once again, walk in the Spirit, and lean on Him in spite of all my struggles, the change in my spirit becomes the catalyst for the breakthrough that is impending! Walking in the Spirit is not a momentary action that we do only when we struggle, and expect God to dispense what we need like a vending machine. Walking in the Spirit is to submit to Christ, yield to the control of God, allow God to exert His influence over us, and to follow Him wherever He leads. When we walk by the Spirit, we will certainly respond differently to many things that we face.
Jesus wants you to rely and depend on Him. He wants your change to be from within. He wants you to know that you do not have to prove anything to yourself, and to the viewing world. Jesus, Himself, will validate you. The responsibilities and problems you have at work, in your marriage, and in your family may remain the same, but God does not want you to shoulder these boulders all by yourself. He wants to carry you through instead. All you need to do is to follow His lead.
Even when you do not understand, continue to trust and follow Jesus. You do not have to be so hard on yourself. Be gentle with yourself as your soul finds rest in the gentle spirit of Jesus. Surrender everything to God. Then, wait and see what God does! You will still have the same responsibilities to fulfill every day, but you do not have to go about your daily life filled with anxiety and stress. Your breakthrough will eventually come as you persevere and wait upon the Lord. This time, it will be God who brings about your success, not you.
Let’s draw near to the throne of grace with confidence today!