He fulfills the desires of those who fear him; he hears their cry and saves them.
Psalms 145:19 NIV
I would like to share how God has granted me the desire of my heart and yet at the same time, showing me how to walk humbly before Him.
My son was born in 2015 amongst the SG50 population. He was due to register for his P1 registration in July 2021 for intake to P1 in 2022.
Ever since he was born, I had always hoped that he would study in my alma mater primary school. Besides being an ex-student, many of my family members and relatives are studying or have graduated from this school.
The time came for the P1 school registration exercise in July 2021. To my great disappointment, I was unsuccessful in getting a seat for my son in my ala mater primary school. This was likely due to the high SG50 population registering for P1 and the popularity of my alma mater school which had intensified the competition.
I was utterly devastated. My world crashed and I became very distraught over many days. I had been waiting for this moment and praying for my son to be able to get in to the school. However, it all ended up the most unexpected way. I even called the school and MOE to appeal but it was only rejection as the results were via balloting and this cannot be overturned.
This was not the end. I tried for my next chance to choose for my 2nd choice of school. This also turned out to be unsuccessful.
Finally, my son got in to the school of my 3rd choice. It was honestly not my desired choice at all.
It took me many months to nurse my broken heart. During this period of time, my mind kept wondering why were my prayers not answered? Was this not supposedly a “right” request? I had been very emotional about the incident, suffice to say beyond a rationale level that anyone could understand. Each time I came across the topic of P1 student primary school, I would be overly sensitive and upset akin to having an emotional attack.
During this tying period, the only thing that calmed down my emotions and tears was the thought that God has a better plan, period. This was the only thought that brings me back to my sanity mind.
I begin to assess my heart and I kept praying for God to show me His plan. It was not an easy time as I encountered many conflicting moments internally. Honestly I was still feeling disappointed yet I was ashamed to face my disappointment. I could not face my honest feelings as I felt that being disappointed means that I had not submitted to God’s plan fully.
Hence, I kept asking God to help me to be humble and submit to His plan. While learning to submit to Him, I told God candidly that I still hope my desires can be granted (that is if He allows).
This dragged on for about 6 months. By His grace, I became stronger and less vulnerable to emotional attacks. I was slowly recovering.
On 4 Jan 2022 (1st day of school for P1), I sensed the emotional attacks of sadness again. I confided in a close friend and she encouraged me to stop circling around the mountain and its time to step out of my self-imposed “desert wilderness”. It was then that I mustered courage and I tell myself to live confidently under the plan of God. There is nothing to be ashamed or disappointed anymore. I finally sensed it was my first small step out of my own wilderness.
The next day, my cousin who is teaching in my alma mater suddenly contacted me to ask if I am still keen to transfer my son to the school. There was a vacancy! According to my cousin, she had a casual chat with the school principal. This casual chat ended up in my son having the opportunity to be shortlisted for an interview by the school.
I was obviously elated but was also anxious as my son had to undergo an interview with 2 Vice Principals of the school as they are shortlisting other candidates too. The breaking moment came when I received the news that my son was eventually selected and we got in to my dream school finally!
Throughout the incident, I have learnt:
To submit to His plan before my own desire.
To walk humbly before Him and wait patiently for His best timing.
When God blesses, it overflows and no man can stop it!
What was previously impossible had since became easily possible, just by the Grace of God! When God path the way, the blessings came through so seamlessly, beyond my wildest imagination! Who would have imagined a casual chat that can linked me up to entering the dream school for my child!
Not only did he bless my wish but He has also changed my heart.
All Glory to the Lord God Almighty!